-Do you have that one poster in your room that has fallen down every single day so far? And it’s always right over your bed so it falls on you in the middle of the night and scares the shit out of you? And the funny thing is you’re too lazy to put any extra tape on it to make it stick so you put it back up knowing full well that it’s going to fall down again in about twelve hours.

-You ever notice that when you’re falling asleep in class, there is absolutely nothing that can keep you awake? You’re sitting in the most uncomfortable chair with the teacher blabbing on and on and you’re using your books as a pillow and the one thing in the whole world you want to do right then is go to sleep. But when class is finally over, you go home and lay in your bed and you can’t fucking fall asleep!

-The other day my friends and I got fucked up and pranked our old rooms from last year and asked for ourselves. Trust me, it was hilarious at the time.

-You know what really pisses me off? Kids who highlight everything in the reading for a class. First of all, it’s like bragging to anyone within a two-mile radius that you were dorky enough to analyze the entire reading. Second of all, what the fuck is the point of doing it if you are just going to highlight every other word!? That’s completely useless you assholes!